10/8/07

PLOP!

Over the past few months, I've become annoyed with the design of public restrooms, particularly the one on the floor of my office. This restroom has a lot of flaws, but allow me, if you will, to highlight some of the worst of them.

1) Poor Ventilation. There's no reason not to have a powerful exhaust fan in the men's restroom. Not only does it help control the level of odor, but also maintains a nice cool temperature for maximum comfort while said deed is going on.

2) This bathroom is completely silent. If you happen to be in there at the same time as another person, you hear every trickle, splash, and flatulent release. There should always be some sort of music playing in the restroom, no matter how cheesy it is to help mask the sound of Bob from accounting getting rid of last night's Kung Pao.

3) Is there any reason that the stall doors of a restroom can't reach all the way to the floor? That extra 8 inches of door would really make me feel more comfortable while doing my business. I know it's a public restroom, but at least give me the illusion of privacy.

4) While the stall doors should reach the floor, the urinal absolutely shouldn't. The foot of the urinal should be no lower than knee height in order to minimize "splash back." If the base of the urinal is at the floor, you're at least doubling the distance the fluid needs to travel. It accelerates and becomes more chaotic until it finally reaches the bottom and splashes all over the place. If I wanted pee on my shoes, I can think of more creative ways to do it.

What about you, Internets? Do you have any bathroom pet peeves or horror stories you'd like to share?

4 comments:

Jeremiah said...

You and George Costanza agree on point #3. If you'd like to get the patent for that, you may want to check with him first.

But he's so gosh darn lazy, that I'm sure he hasn't gone through the necessary paperwork yet.

philthy said...

Jeremiah-
Just another piece of supportive evidence in the theory that I'm turning into George Costanza. I'll file this one behind that dead fiance.

the_dude said...

#4 - I never thought I would see a discussion of fluid dynamics on Philthy Laundry - but it has happened!! Man has yet to conquer turbulent flow, of this there is no doubt. Until we do, let's keep those urinals nice and high people!

Mark Sidarous said...

When I read the title and saw that there were 4 points, the first of which started with the word poor, I thought your complaints would be in the form of an acronym spelling PLOP! I got really excited, but was deeply disappointed to find my dreams dashed like broken ships against rocky shores. Thanks, Phil.