Reason #37 why I know I'm getting old

I just came very close to calling the police on my upstairs neighbors for being too loud. On a Saturday night. At 9pm.

I'm about 18 months away from chasing the neighborhood kids off my yard with a shovel.

Clearing out the clutter

A couple weeks ago I went to Target to buy a new alarm clock, since mine had been malfunctioning a bit recently. I stood in the middle of Aisle 39, staring at the vast amount of clocks I had to choose from. They ranged in price from $4.99 to $139.99 and could do anything from just simply waking you up to coordinating with a table lamp, Ipod, CD player, etc. Basically I could get an alarm clock to do anything short of giving me a back rub as I fall asleep. Eventually I chose a moderately priced version that had a radio, 2 separate alarms, and a LED projector light that would display the current time anywhere you aimed it.


That night in bed, I stared up at my ceiling with a blue 10:39 displayed prominently above my head. I laid there unable to fall asleep. What seemed like hundreds of thoughts ran through my head: "What time is that meeting tomorrow at work, 8:30 or 9?; Did I book a rental car for that trip to Dallas?; I think I'm paying too much for cable; Will Lauren & Heidi ever be friends again on 'The Hills?'; Why is my computer so loud? I should look into getting a new one, like the new Mac Book- I love those commercials; When is the writer's strike going to be over...I need some Colbert Report back in my life; I need a vacation; Should I move to a new apartment?; I should really volunteer more; When's the last time I washed my sheets?; I hope this new alarm wakes me up on time tomorrow; What time is that meeting in the morning?"

I was (and still am) completely overstimulated. My brain is running on overtime, but I'm not accomplishing anything (as you can see this is my first post in almost a month.) Just the fact that it took me nearly 15 minutes to pick out a new alarm clock should be a huge warning sign. There's too much clutter in my head, and it's time for an overhaul. I'm hoping to really sit down for the next few weeks, during this busy and hectic time of year and get some focus back in my life.

Hopefully this will result in more consistent postings for all of you to read. Because if anything should be a priority for me, it's that the 6 people that read this blog should have something new to read every once and a while

Sorry it's been a while...

It's been a crazy week, folks. But I promise, when i get the time to right this next post down, it'll be worth the wait.


In the meantime...chew on this Deep Thought, from Jack Handy:

If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.– Jack Handey

from the ashes

oh, internets...how I've missed you.

it's been over 8 months since I've written anything other than a grocery list, and boy am i happy to be back.

why was i gone for so long? good question, i don't really know. i do know that late last year, i just felt drained. my creative juices had stopped flowing; maybe i lost my muse. the thing with writing, like anything else, is that if you don't stay active, then you lose the ability to do it. this has been a great outlet for me in the past...i'm hoping it'll only get better in the future.

but why now? after all this time, why start another blog? over the past few months several people have come up to me and encouraged me to start writing again. just this week a friend of mine suggested i use my power (read employment) with the Tribune Company to get a weekly column in one of their papers. i assured her that 1) i have no power within the Chicago Tribune, and 2) they don't just give columns to average phil's off the street with no experience, or journalism background. but i promised her i would consider blogging again, which seemed to satisfy for the moment.

on my way to work this morning i was really thinking about writing again. is it something i really want to commit to? what if it's been too long? i'll never get an audience back. i thought "if i do this, i'll need some sort of sign...something from above." just then it hit me....

a bird had just crapped on my arm.

i figured considering my luck, that's as good a sign as i'm going to get. so here i am, internets, poop-stained arms stretched wide, ready for your warm, familiar embrace. don't let me down.